Hormones & Handcuffs

How many trans or gender nonconforming people are involved in BDSM, nonmonogamy, or other forms of alternate lifestyles?  Actual numbers do not exist, but anecdotal evidence suggests percentages are significantly higher than in cisgender (non-transgender) populations.  Why? Those of us in the transgender and gender nonconforming community have nontraditional relationships with our bodies.  A large number experience bitter dysphoria pretransition, having spent decades tormented by a conflict between our inner identities and external selves.  So often this clash centers on genitalia, the most… Read More

The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 2

Continued from last week’s The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1… The Kink-Poly Dynamic in Therapy Unfortunately, pathologizing attitudes towards kink and poly lifestyles persist among many therapists, therefore individuals with atypical sexualities or lifestyles may tend to avoid going to therapy, which can exacerbate the issues mentioned above1,2,3. When individuals do go to therapy, they may either avoid disclosure of their identifications or lifestyle, or try and suppress their desires in reaction to… Read More

The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1

While there is very little academic literature that’s been published on the intersection of polyamorous- and kink-identified individuals, there are numerous mentions of people who identify as both kinky and poly in research on one or the other of the two communities. The overlap of kink and poly tend to be acknowledged, accepted, and depathologized in both communities, and consensual nonmonogamy (CNM1) or polyamory are sometimes considered the norm in certain kink subcultures2,3.  Following is an overview of this common confluence… Read More

Cross-post: Same-sex marriage is a right!

Guest blog originally posted on June 26, 2015 at undercoversblog.com by community member Sasha Grossman. Sasha is currently obtaining her Masters of Social Work at NYU, and eventually hopes to become a kink, poly, and LGBTQ affirmative sex therapist. For now, she is an avid reader and prolific writer of sex-positive literature.  Congratulations to the SCOTUS for finally not fucking up. First, it saves Obamacare, and then it legalizes gay marriage across the country! Words cannot express… Read More

Celebrate the Sex Workers Project at emPOWER 2015!

Click here for tickets! Cross-posted from The Sex Workers Project event page: Come celebrate the success, community, and future of the Sex Workers Project! SWP is the only US organization offering client-centered legal and social services for sex workers and trafficking victims. All tickets include an open bar and hors d’oeuvres until 9pm. Allies, Activists, and Sponsors will also receive access to VIP mezzanine with a private bar, and added bonuses. Stay… Read More

Thinking Globally about Sex and Gender: The Yogyakarta Principles

A couple of years ago I discovered a document called the Yogyakarta Principles on the Application of International Human Rights Law in relation to Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity, created in 2006 in Yogyakarta, Indonesia by the International Commission of Jurists and the International Service for Human Rights, on behalf of a coalition of human rights organizations in reaction to egregious international human rights violations pertaining to individuals marginalized for their sexual… Read More

Manhattan Alternative Represented at Upcoming SSTAR Conference

Dr. Eli Mayer will be presenting a talk on Saturday, March 28 at the 40th annual conference of the Society of Sex Therapists and Researchers (SSTAR) in Boston.  The theme of this year’s conference is: Healthy Sexuality as a Human Right: Making Sex Therapy Available to Diverse Populations.  The conference provides an opportunity to educate “mainstream” sex therapists and researchers about how to provide quality Sex Therapy to those of us whose sexual… Read More

Depathologizing Casual Sex

I recently read an interesting albeit brief article discussing research on casual sex, and calling out the different types and functions of casual sexual encounters (click on the following to read)… …and I really appreciated that it calls out the oversimplification of these types of sexual interactions. I often have a strong reaction to the way that certain words are reductive, and used to pathologize or stigmatize non-reproductive sex—casual sex, hypersexuality, promiscuity to name a few. The phrase “casual sex”… Read More

All of the Shades

I started out thinking that this would definitely not be a blog post about the 50 Shades books or film, but about the myriad of ways to identify outside of binaries—for example, all of the shades of gray between straight and gay, top and bottom, kinky and non-kinky, and all of the intersections thereof and beyond.  It can be a tricky for people to admit that they reside in the gray area somewhere between the categorical… Read More

Poly Perfect

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about non-binary intersecting identities—well, actually, I’ve always thought a lot about them, but lately I’ve decided to more fully flesh out my thoughts in order to share them with you—and right now I’m thinking about the poly lifestyle, and what it means to identify as poly, and how the meaning of the identification can change depending on other lifestyle intersections. Not too long ago I had a conversation… Read More