The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 2

Continued from last week’s The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1… The Kink-Poly Dynamic in Therapy Unfortunately, pathologizing attitudes towards kink and poly lifestyles persist among many therapists, therefore individuals with atypical sexualities or lifestyles may tend to avoid going to therapy, which can exacerbate the issues mentioned above1,2,3. When individuals do go to therapy, they may either avoid disclosure of their identifications or lifestyle, or try and suppress their desires in reaction to… Read More

The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1

While there is very little academic literature that’s been published on the intersection of polyamorous- and kink-identified individuals, there are numerous mentions of people who identify as both kinky and poly in research on one or the other of the two communities. The overlap of kink and poly tend to be acknowledged, accepted, and depathologized in both communities, and consensual nonmonogamy (CNM1) or polyamory are sometimes considered the norm in certain kink subcultures2,3.  Following is an overview of this common confluence… Read More

Cross-post: Same-sex marriage is a right!

Guest blog originally posted on June 26, 2015 at undercoversblog.com by community member Sasha Grossman. Sasha is currently obtaining her Masters of Social Work at NYU, and eventually hopes to become a kink, poly, and LGBTQ affirmative sex therapist. For now, she is an avid reader and prolific writer of sex-positive literature.  Congratulations to the SCOTUS for finally not fucking up. First, it saves Obamacare, and then it legalizes gay marriage across the country! Words cannot express… Read More

Cross-post: Sliding Scale Appointments Now Available!

I have the pleasure of announcing that beginning this summer I will be working under the supervision of Dr. Kelly Wise, psychotherapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. I’ll be taking on a limited number of sliding scale appointments at his Union Square office, working with individuals, couples, non-traditional relationships and families, and current or former sex workers on issues across the spectrum of gender identification/expression, sexual orientation/expression, D/s dynamics, relationship status, and intersections thereof. Please contact me directly via email or… Read More

The Eulenspiegel Society

By Michal Daveed, the Media Representative for The Eulenspiegel Society. Nowadays, BDSM imagery can be found in mainstream culture, but it’s a double-edged sword.  It can be hard to disentangle fact from fiction, and seeing jokes on primetime TV about bondage don’t offer community, or emotional support. But since before the “Fifty Shades of Grey” craze, and surely until long afterwards, The Eulenspiegel Society fills the gaps. The Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, has… Read More

Cross-post: Is it Possible to Eradicate a Fetish?

By Dr. Michael Aaron, originally posted on December 8, 2014 on DrMichaelaaronNYC.com/blog. In a recent post, I wrote about how the field of sexology is uneven in its application and rife with regional and individual biases, largely due to general sex phobia and a subsequent lack of empirical research within the field. Recently, a debate on the mailing list of one of the sexological organizations to which I belong touched again upon discrepancies… Read More

Grappling with Consensual Non-consent, part 2

Continued from Grappling with Consensual Non-consent, part 1. Langdridge’s1 chapter on the eroticization of pain in BDSM interactions describes the concept of losing control in a different way. Though CNC is not mentioned explicitly, the type of interaction described intimates an interaction that is initially consensual, but then brings the bottom to an altered state of consciousness in which there is a complete loss of agency and separation from reality, which the… Read More

Grappling with Consensual Non-consent, part 1

The concept of consensual non-consent1 (CNC) relates to the type of BDSM interaction in which there exists a mutual agreement between participants that allows for an atmosphere of suspended consent2 or suspension of limits3. This type of interaction can take place within the parameters of a time-delimited scene, such as a heavy discipline scene or rape roleplay4,5, or a D/s relationship in which the power dynamic extends beyond sexual interactions, such as… Read More

The Scaffolding of Sexual Consent

The definition of sexual consent remains a contentious and controversial topic. Some accept a broad definition of consent that allows for implied agreement, while others insist that sexual consent should always be explicitly stated. To those unfamiliar, BDSM interactions might seem to exemplify coercive sexual practices, though consent is integral in non-pathological BDSM interactions. The article described in the abstract below examines the nature of BDSM interactions in order to clarify the line… Read More

Call for NYC Kink/Poly/LGBTQ Affirmative Providers

Welcome to the launch of ManhattanAlternative.com! We are a network of therapeutic service providers in New York City who are sex-positive, affirmative, and have expertise related to issues that kink, poly, consensually non-monogamous, trans, gender non-conforming, and/or LGBQ-identified individuals face.  I started working on this collaborative in 2014 in an effort to address the lack of openly affirmative support to the communities I’ve been a part of in NYC for the past 10+ years, and am… Read More