The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 2

Continued from last week’s The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1… The Kink-Poly Dynamic in Therapy Unfortunately, pathologizing attitudes towards kink and poly lifestyles persist among many therapists, therefore individuals with atypical sexualities or lifestyles may tend to avoid going to therapy, which can exacerbate the issues mentioned above1,2,3. When individuals do go to therapy, they may either avoid disclosure of their identifications or lifestyle, or try and suppress their desires in reaction to… Read More

The Kink-Poly Confluence, part 1

While there is very little academic literature that’s been published on the intersection of polyamorous- and kink-identified individuals, there are numerous mentions of people who identify as both kinky and poly in research on one or the other of the two communities. The overlap of kink and poly tend to be acknowledged, accepted, and depathologized in both communities, and consensual nonmonogamy (CNM1) or polyamory are sometimes considered the norm in certain kink subcultures2,3.  Following is an overview of this common confluence… Read More

Cross-post: Same-sex marriage is a right!

Guest blog originally posted on June 26, 2015 at undercoversblog.com by community member Sasha Grossman. Sasha is currently obtaining her Masters of Social Work at NYU, and eventually hopes to become a kink, poly, and LGBTQ affirmative sex therapist. For now, she is an avid reader and prolific writer of sex-positive literature.  Congratulations to the SCOTUS for finally not fucking up. First, it saves Obamacare, and then it legalizes gay marriage across the country! Words cannot express… Read More

Cross-post: Sliding Scale Appointments Now Available!

I have the pleasure of announcing that beginning this summer I will be working under the supervision of Dr. Kelly Wise, psychotherapist and AASECT certified sex therapist. I’ll be taking on a limited number of sliding scale appointments at his Union Square office, working with individuals, couples, non-traditional relationships and families, and current or former sex workers on issues across the spectrum of gender identification/expression, sexual orientation/expression, D/s dynamics, relationship status, and intersections thereof. Please contact me directly via email or… Read More

Cross-post: Disappointment Avoidance Ruins Relationships

With the permission of Dr. Charlie Glickman, originally posted on his blog, Make Sex Easy. When therapists, relationship coaches, and sex educators talk about the things that get in the way of creating positive connection and intimacy, we often include things like shame, anger, resentment, and unspoken expectations. But there’s one more that doesn’t get as much attention, even though it has a huge impact on our relationships: disappointment avoidance. Here’s a truth about relationships… Read More

Poly Perfect

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about non-binary intersecting identities—well, actually, I’ve always thought a lot about them, but lately I’ve decided to more fully flesh out my thoughts in order to share them with you—and right now I’m thinking about the poly lifestyle, and what it means to identify as poly, and how the meaning of the identification can change depending on other lifestyle intersections. Not too long ago I had a conversation… Read More

Call for NYC Kink/Poly/LGBTQ Affirmative Providers

Welcome to the launch of ManhattanAlternative.com! We are a network of therapeutic service providers in New York City who are sex-positive, affirmative, and have expertise related to issues that kink, poly, consensually non-monogamous, trans, gender non-conforming, and/or LGBQ-identified individuals face.  I started working on this collaborative in 2014 in an effort to address the lack of openly affirmative support to the communities I’ve been a part of in NYC for the past 10+ years, and am… Read More